My mom has always watched my health being. When i looked pale she got me a bottle of pure honey, when i appeared fatigue she asked me to take Pharmaton, when she saw my messy hair she summoned me to Ratu Saloon. As a daily supplement she bought me Gamat Emulsion. It tastes like....like.. let me just say that it reminds me of how much i despise Scotts Emulsion when i was in Primary. My kids on the other hand, suka ya amat at this Gamat Emulsion. I trust they would finish up the whole bottle on my behalf. *cough* cough* 

My mom kept the Gamat Emulsion at her house. She bought it for me, yes but she didn't trust me taking a spoonful of it every day. The last time she came to our house, she 'accidently' found the bottle of honey she got me some 3 months ago, still full. aiseymannn..

So every morning when I send the kids over, she made me swallow a spoonful of that yucky greenish thick slimy fluid in front of her. And i am to be 30 this year *sigh*. 

Couple of weeks ago, my mom noticed that i have not been praying for quite some time (yeah, she noticed). It was either i'm pregnant (which she knew i'm not) or i was emotionally stressed out or so she figured.

To put everything back in 'order' she recommended me this pill. 

She said the pills are available at most pharmacies. She knew because she seen it on TV - Selamat Pagi Malaysia or one of those morning talkshows. "Elok pil tu, daripada manjakani. Mak nengok dalam tv!. Org pompuan dah beranak memang sesuai makan"

Okay, okay i got the picture. So last week during lunch, i dropped by at the pharmacy. 120 pills, 2 pills to be eaten 3 times a day for RM19.90. Made the purchase..happy-happy mom must be proud of me. I am now self-sustained. ahahah

Eh, singgah Watson jap la.

Whaddayaknow.... same Pills were sold at Watson; 2 bottles for RM29.90. Bah!

Takpe Takpe..i spent only RM19.90 instead of RM29.90. That's 33% cost saving. But the value..arrggghh

===========

2 days ago when i reached mak's place to pick up the kids, mak handed me a plastic bag. In it is a bottle of Pil Binari. Aiseymaaan....

me : Dah beli la mak. Ade kat rumah.

mak : makan ke tak? Tak pe lah, simpan satu botol kat sini.

me: *gulp*. Berapa mak beli ni?

mak :  Mak dapat murah tau. Harga dia RM19.90, tawar-tawar dapat RM17.00! (dengan bangganya)

me : ohhhh..okay ah tu. Kat Watson depan tu, beli 2 botol RM29.90 je.

mak : .....

So ladies, i have 240 pills to shove and according to my mom's calculation i MUST finish everything in 40 days. Now i know, you know, that i wont be able to accomplish that.

Sharing is Caring, no?

I watched Puntianak Harum Sundal Malam last Sunday on Channel 4. Maya Karin won Best Actress at the Asia Pacific Film Festival for THAT?. Probably it's wrong to compare her with Khalid Salleh in Jogho who won Best Actor award few years back or one should not expect her to be as good great as Allahyarham Tan Sri P Ramlee who also won the same title.  

What did i miss? The 3 in 1 character? The script (she hardly complete her sentence..)? The joget part (okay, one has to learn to dance like that im sure) ...what else?

But i must say that the cinematography is nice. I like the colors, flawless skin, lipstick and the background music too. Oh oh don't u just lurve Ida Nerina?

Of all the house chores, i like ironing the least. It took me 3 hours yesterday to finish up 3 weeks+ worth of working shirts. For this, i'm truly grateful to be married to a noncorporatefellawhowearsanythingbutpropertuckinshirt. Or else, i reckoned 30 hours straight won't be sufficient. Hey, i said i'm grateful*.

So *booo* to those who religiously iron her spouse's shirt (exception to those with 'domestic' helper).

"53% of Internal Audit staff are qualified auditors, according to a survey done on Internal Audit Practice in Malaysia by Ernst&Young".

The survey was released today by Datuk Ng Yen Yen.

Hmm..... so the remaining 47% are not qualified meh? So what does this tell ya...that u let non-qualified someone to check on your work and tell you what you are lacking off.  ha ha ha.

Before the blog bug bit, (hey, could use that as a tounge-twister eh?) I was a frequent visitor/member to this one forum. (no need to say lah...it's not that good anyway, unless you're into the local gossip stuff). Needless to say, the forum has a few boards catering to different needs, from Gossips to Music, from Motorcars to Aviation, from Advertising to Religion.

The board that I used to participate (well, tried to anyway...although I know sheeit about it) was Literature and Artc & Culture. In those visits, I made a few friends. One of them used to write for a local newspaper. He has this streak of wit and deep knowledge of literature that I can't help but admire him. In the boards he always posted some cynical short stories about general stuff. And always in Malay. He and one of his friends have this grand idea of revolutionizing the Malay Literature. Always lambasting Ahadiat Akasha and his/her ilks.

Now, he is putting his words into action, with a collection of a few of his underground writers, he has launched the book that what he hope to be the first step in the Revolution. After a few snags, Wilayah Kutu will be available. Find out more at http://neohikayat.blogspot.com/

To all my sisters, probably you can use him to launch your writing career perhaps?

I have work pouring out of my ears. You see, I'm working in an environment where it is running 7 days a week, for a year, at least. Hopefully. That is if we do not get axed.

In all the scant details that I can tell you, I could only say that I need to be pretty hands-on. And I am working with an eclectic bunch of buffons, ego-maniacs on a serious power trip, snakes and your typical tight-fisted bosses who couldn't care less if you drop-dead halfway on your job. (well, the last one was not true, he would probably give you a once-over and check your wallet for any money first)

We have this huuuugggeee project coming up in July, so we have to make this huuuuuuugggeee presentation to the bigwigs like next week, and out of the 8 people in the team, only 3 of them really knows what they are doing. That means I have to hold the hands of the other 5 and show them the route map of how to get their job done.

I hate to micro manage, since that would mean I would need at least 5 of me. But what the hey, we'll see if I can pull this through eh?

I miss my kids. Each time I reach home, I'll be knackered or they would be asleep. Either that, my wife would be on a short temper (prolly because I'm not around to help with the kids) and that in turn, made me short tempered as well.

Now I have to approve of some graphics first before I can go home.

wo hoooo..i've been tagged by Zan, although i dont think non-modblogger is qualified. Heh, what is 'qualified' anyway?

I seriously think that these questions are best answered by my hubby. He reads a lot and he remembers what he read; the characters, the chapters, the writer. Amazing. I can't even remember the main character of the book i currently read 'Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy'. Was it Douglas Adam? Oh he's the writer. Sad, i know.

Anyway.....here goes

Text in Italics is from the eveil-half:

1. How many books do you own?

Story books - not many. Those in the house mostly my husband's...hmm actually i think they belong to my sisters-in-law's. hehehe 

We made a quick trip to Melaka yesterday which also means we missed sending Mama to the airport for her 30 days trip to obesi. I'm sure Mama will be alright. Cukup makan and all. I have faith in Didiee. Heh.

My mom called at 9.00am to tell me that she is on the way to Kampung. Unplanned. She said Nek is ill and been asking for her since the day before. Pak Itam and Mak Ngah also rushed to Kampung.

Oh my. Oh my.

Mom said not to worry and she'll let us know if we need to make the trip too. She said 'tunggu dulu'.

Huh. Errr....

How long is 'tunggu dulu' supposed to be? 1 hr, 1 day? what is the cut-off point  for 'tunggu dulu'? when does one decides 'tunggu dulu' period ends? 

'Tunggu dulu' + X = 'Balik sekarang!'

'Balik sekarang' + 2.5 hours journey = on time?  

Hubby was working. Yes, on Sunday. His working hours are not included in the above equation. The whole morning after mom's phone call I felt dizzy, my heart was throbbing, almost in tears, and even felt like vomitting. Nek...

She is the only Nek I have left.

She was once, a mak andam with varieties of white wedding gowns, songket, tiara, jewelery (fake) and wigs for rent. All her cucu loved her house (before it was runned down). We would hide among long lacy wedding gowns hanged all over the house and play pretends. Being the youngest girl, i usually got to play the princess. heh. Guess who was the mak andam then?

She was the one who taught me how to tweeze one's eye-brow. She showed me how to tell if a bride is a virgin by the curve and placement of anak rambut soaked in coconut shell (Now don't you ask me! i think its highly contributed by the shampoo/conditioner). She showed me how to use celak mekah smudge free and tear-less. She revealed ayat penaik seri to give that glow to the bride. She showed me the art of negotiation (objective: money money money) during the hand-over of bride to the groom. The higher the steps (tangga batu) the more collection we made. It was fun. Do they still practise this adat?

Of course, i forgot everything. Ayat dan petua. Somehow Nek's ilmu diverted to my brother. Hhmmm....probably because he took the role of mak andam when we were young.

The last trip my mom made to Kampung, Nek asked for Najwa. I do not want to have any regrets later.

Nek did not recognise me nor my hubby. She remembers Najwa tho. She was very weak and lie down the whole evening. She woke up when Pak Itam brought back durian. She smiled when i said she has the softest skin that looks glowy. She was strong enough to perform Maghrib and Isya'. She asked her helper to give me kuih dendegham or kuih telinga kap-lam-ya-nga. Hey, that's what they called it!

Nek was asleep when we left Kampung. My mom stays. Nek will be okay, Insya Allah.

No need to feel sorry but if you do, I Thank You. I'm relieved that i got to see her. I'm thankful that my hubby agreed to go back despite his busy schedule.

Let's pray for Nek.

[Edit: Will be away for couple of days to look after the children while my mom still in Kampung. Helper will arrive this weeked, I hope]

Nek is err...well...stabilising. Mom came home yesterday with updates and more updates.

Mom said Nek insisted to go to the town (bandar Melaka) to buy garam batu and other household items like onions, garlic, udang kering and other stuff. She barely sit without assistance..hmmm. Very well, sound so much like Nek herself. So we concluded that she's o.k.a.y, Insya Allah.

Her helper is taking care of her. I like her helper. Short hair (long hair increases the probablity of finding hair or hairball in soup or curry and on the floor, yucky) She's so clean, neat, respectful and nice. She offered me coffee and couples of coconut to bring home. Hoho terima kasih banyak. I got my supply of coconut milk from the Sunday Market or Giant, okay.

Speaking of helper, mine will be coming this Friday. I can just let her finished the ironing, i can leave the 3 bathrooms for her to scrub, i'm willing to close one eye from the hefty dust under the sofa err in fact on every flat surface in the house, i can ignore those murals on the wall. 

But i can't, can i?

I do not want the helper to get an impression that THAT is how the house is, the acceptable standard, the norm (heh!). No, I'm not a fussy employer. The priority is on my kids, all else are secondary.

Speaking of kids, I was with them since Monday. Masya Allah! peningnya tengok Playhouse Disney Channel all dayl!!

I think all guys in Wiggles are truly purely gay, except Jeff probably. "Where's Jeff.."

It must be very tiring to be B1 and B2 in Bananas in Pyjamas. They are so pretentious! Are they gay too?

Bear in the Big Blue House; How does the Bear move its eyebrow?? I know the right hand is motionless...but how?

How old is Monica again? She looks good, isn't she? Kent is gay too, I'm sure.

Pooh Bear is irritatingly cute.

Rolie Polie Oliie or according to Naim 'Oyi Oyi Oyi' is so unreal. What if we live in Olie's world. Sume bende ade mata. Eeee.. 

I'm glad tonight is CSI night.

My ex-boss once said, "when you know nuts what to check...remember this, In God we TRUST, all else we audit!"

vokay, vokay, redah it is then.

Takder idea nak tulis...so recycle balik posting yang saya taruk kat forum dulu...

(Sorry, I'm actually too pissed to write anything so I'm letting my brain to atrophy for a bit)

Itu hari Edge pergi berjalan kat satu pasaraya. pasaraya tersebut menempatkan sebuah gerai buku sebuat penerbit tempatan.

Ini bukan kali pertama Edge perasan gerai tersebut. Dari segi marketing, ianya mempunyai lokasi yang terbaik (kerana mengadap pintu besar pasaraya tersebut) dan ianya mempamerkan buku bukunya dengan baik juga (kalau lalu depan memang takkan miss punya lah. Edge dari jarak lima tapak boleh baca tajuk dan penulis sesetengah buku). Promosi dan harga juga diiklankan dengan baik, dimana poster dan senarai harga dipamerkan dengan terang dan tempat yang strategik juga. Harganya juga adalah kompetetif malahan setengahnya lebih murah dari kedai buku yang lain..boleh tawar lagi.

tetapi...ianya sentiasa kosong. Malahan nak tengok orang yang menjaganya pun susah kekadang (probably dia pergi ke gerai sebelah berborak tak tahu ler)..so..mana silapnya? high-traffic, promotion done, cheap books...mana pelanggan?

Buku yang dijual adalah buku novel melayu..sahaja.

Kenapa? Kenapa buku novel melayu tak boleh jual? Banyak sangat ke pembaca yang lebih kenal Nietzsche, Garcia Marquez, Borges, Dahl, Collins, Hemingway, Rowling dan lain lain dari penulis tempatan?

Adakah pembaca disini lebig gemar membuka buku berkulitkan gambar simbol antik, imaginasi, senjata lebih dari gambar bunga-bungaan?

adakah distribution channel perlu dipersalahkan? mana silapnya?

Kak Long tagged me couple of entries ago. I won't do the memes again, but i'll tell ya what happen the last time we went to MPH warehouse sale at Kelana Jaya.

The whole family and my non-blogger sister-in-law (heh!) went on the last day of the sale during the last 2 hours so u could imagine the 'gopoh-gapah' mode we all in.

I let Najwa rummaged through the racks while Naim tried to built a dog house with books of all sizes.

Hubby was nowhere to be seen.

Oh, monopoly! I used to make everyone in the family bankrupt or at least send them to jail hahah. Maybe it would be fun to re-lived those days.  

I finally saw Hubby browsing through one of those bins filled with children books. While walking towards him, my eyes were still screening through racks with magazines on home-deco and garden. Not just that. All nearby racks and bins as well, anything within my perspective.

Sale la katakan, melilau mata!

I approached him, gently stroked his back, ends it with a light squeeze on his butt (Rotidua 101: Ways to turn your husband into ATM) and said,

"Sayang, can we get the monopoly set?" eyes still melilau.

Hubby turned his back towards me. Sensing that my attention is required, i turned my head.

Oh shhhooooottt!

2 jaws dropped. Mine and hubby. Only he was not my hubby. Young, malay male chap with a girl next to him. Oh her stare!

Fccckkkkkk! Felt my blood rushed its way to my brain. My nose, my eyes melted - i lost sense of my face and its muscle.

I apologised and quickly ran towards Hubby who was standing 5 ft away looking at me, awkwardly. He noticed something was amidst but wasn't quite sure what it was.

Yeah Mister, just stand there no need to rescue me.

"Why?, salah orang yeh?"

"Errr....."

On the way back, i told him. "How can u not tell yr husband's butt?" He accused. He smiled anyway. I felt tercemar.

That night i had a (delicious) nightmare. I squeezed everyone's butt. Everyone. Small Butt, Big Butt. Tight, Not so tight. Young, Old. Man, Woman. They all have the same devilish stare. But an old lady gave me a seductive smile. Hmmm....

==============

I'm super busy. Will have 2 days training starting this Friday, overnight. So no belly dancing this Friday. As if...dah de class kan.

huuu what did i miss? what did i miss??

Anyway...these are some of the terms/reference used during the 2 day workshop:

Juran Loop = Quality process cycle Plan, Do, Check, Act and Plan by Dr Joseph Juran.

"Po" = as in 'Po one's idea' if the idea is foolproof and something like out-of-this-world.

WIIFM = what's in it for me (u're right, Lollies)

SWOT = strength, weakness, opportunity, threat

HAVA = high added value activity (like....blogging ahahah)

CSF = Critical Success Factor. This is good, one must have a cutting point in performance evaluation. For example, tumbesaran badan *wink*

'satisficing' = in between sacrificing and satisfying, usually in customer relationship mangement.

PEAR = Personality, Environment, Asset, Reputation

4 Ms= Major risk factors/generator; Man, Method, Machine and Material

GETIM = Get immediately (sort of ASAP)

GETOP = Get on Top / Top Priority - not ASAP but it should be on top of your tray.

POPSRA = This one i like most. Policy, Organisation, Procedure, Supervision, Review & Appraisal. These are the controls framework.

CoSo = Enterprise Risk Management Framework introduced by PwC (USA). I think CoSo is an abbreviation of the Committee of Sponsoring Organisation

CoCo = Another control framework developed by Canadian.

Balridge = Criterias for quality performance (i think) by Malcolm Balridge

ALARP = As low as reasonably possible, look at it in terms of implementing controls or spending behaviour (heh!) not income generation eh.

BBP = Best Business Practice

PDC = Types of Control; Preventive, Detective, Corrective

4 Ts= Response to risk; Terminate, Transfer, Take (knowingly), Tawakkal (ahahah acah je..Treatment la)

3 As = These are Auditor's role; Assure, Alert, Assist.

Nick Leeson yo! = He is the culprit in the fall of Baring. "Lesson from Leeson". Good case study.

It was great, i gave the trainer almost full mark. Probably the company should do more of this sort.

Edit: Macam pandai kan?....NOT!

5 working days: Quality vs Quantity 

Are you effected, huh huh? Mine will start on the 1st of July. Hooray!! actually not really because this also means punching in earlier by 8.30am. So no breakfast huh...no office 'updates' huh. We should follow the government, clock in at 830am then breakfast at 10am, bley.

Single female wanted (able to munch without mouth opened)

Bang De, my brother just came back from business cum pleasure trip. Of all things (read: cute koala bears), he got me a Victoria Secret lingerie.

Can someone please get Bang De a wife!

Sayangkan anak tangan-tangankan, sayangkan cucu..

Yesterday I caught my mom completing Najwa's homework!

Najwa was to write 'Quilt' and 'Quarter' 2 columns each, in 1 page. By the time she finished the 3rd column, she realised there was insufficent space for the 4th column.

Nenek: Kakak tulis jauh sangat, rapat la sikit.

Kakak: ala...

Ibu was watching Jojo's Circus with Naim. After a short while...Ibu turned to check out Kakak's progress

Ibu: Hah! Nenek yang buat!

Kakak: *giggle*

Nenek: Ala dia dah buat dah tadi ni, mak padam biar muat. (Continued writing 'Quarter' till the last row, 4th column.)

Kakak dengan muka selamba joined Naim.

*Ibu bangs her head..mentally*

Risk Management of B.O

The helper has been with us for about 2 weeks now. Since she came, i have bought her; body talcum, shampoo, body shampoo, spray perfume, deodorant stick, cologne and mouth wash...and of course couple of new pants and shirts.

I, the employer hereby declare the body odour issue is mitigated with adequate preventive measures in place. hi hi hi