Thank you all for your kind words and doa. I pray that Allah bless your souls, Insya Allah. 

No words could describe how grateful I was to be there, to witness, to be able to tell my children and to learn most valuable lesson in life: that above all, our family will be there for us until the end of our life. Buruk, gaduh macamana pun, itu lah orang yang kita harap nak doakan kita (other than blood family, consider that as a bonus). So people, never neglect your family!

I would like to think that I am a better person and more faithful after that day. These days, I looked around me and see people I want to be beside me on my D* bed. I think of the ‘investments’ I’ve made so far and in future and whether it would be enough to ...ya know, wipe out those big and small sins. I wonder if my children, by then, equipped with doa and surah-surah to recite for me. Oh, I hope they pray sunat hadiah for me. Do you know what is solat sunat hadiah? I didn’t. I was told that it’s a solat that one performed with niat that the pahala goes to a specific arwah or something like that. Amazing! You can transfer your good deed to someone else. (Correct me if I’m wrong, please)

Each house I went, I imagined if it’s gonna be a hindrance to carry out jenazah from the house. Can I request that my daughter(s), my mom or sisters give me my last bath? Strangers may be rough plus I’m a shy person. Those yang berkenaan, bawak-bawaklah belajar menguruskan jenazah. 

I wish I smell and look as good as Nek when Firhad, my children/grandchildren and siblings kiss me for the last time. I wonder if anyone would raise his/her hand to claim outstanding debts (banks don’t usually send their reps at funerals, kan? Or else, my waris may have a handful *gulp*). 

I never really give a thought of where my grave should be. It’s gonna be my amalan that would determine my comfort level, anyway. Probably, untuk kemudahan orang-orang dunia, it should be where it's easily accessible and visible. Ya la, kalau tak nampak kuburnya, takut terlupa nak sedekah Al-Fatihah ke or paling kurang pun bagi la salam. I would like my name to be called as … binti Anita instead of binti Hawa.  Can I have my name both in jawi AND rumi on my tomb stone, just so that my grandchildren or anyone else could find my kubur easily?  I wish my husband and my son(s) are the last to carry me into liang lahad. Will my husband stay put to teman me after everyone leaves or will he walk away quickly to find new Ibu for my children?

Hmm… I should stop here. Sebak lak rasa and err *goose bumps* ler.